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A Moment of Silence

The other day I found myself surprised. I had just spent the day with a tantrum filled toddler, gas filled baby girl and a baby boy who wanted constant attention. It was late afternoon and the hour I had been looking forward to had finally arrived! 

Before The Moment 

I walked out of my loud and hectic house, leaving the 3 kids with my mother-in-law as I embarked on a relaxing dinner out with some girlfriends. I climbed into the empty car and shut the door. I did not even get the car in gear before it began to flood over me. 

Suddenly, in that empty car, filled with silence, all the sounds of the day earlier washed away and I was left with a moment. 

My heart started pounding, I suddenly had little breath, my fingers began to tremble and my eyes started to swell with tears. I was surprised in that moment by a full blown anxiety attack. 

In The Moment

This wasn’t my first anxiety attack, but it took me by surprise as I had been fine all day with the craziness of 3 children under 3 years old. But when the silence hit, all the stress from the day piled onto my very tired body. 

My first reaction was to call someone to pray with me. My first call was to my husband at the office. Leading a busy day himself, he was already tied up on the phone.

The next call I would have typically made would have been to my best friend. Although I was not about to call her as I was on my way to pick her up for her own birthday dinner! The last thing I wanted to do was burden her with my anxiety and stress when all I wanted was to spend a nice evening out celebrating her. 

Just a quiet night with no screaming children or drawn out tears. The last thing I expected was to be the one in tears! I did not want to show up on her doorstep bawling. 

Following The Moment

As I took some long deep breaths, holding back the urge to cry, I began to ask God to help in the moment. I started basking in his greatness and thanking him. 

Thank you for my 3 amazing children I get to care for and clean up after. 

Thank you for the house I have to live in and clean. 

Thank you for the incredible husband I get to love and do laundry for. 

Slowly my anxiety faded away and I realized through this moment that I need to take regular moments throughout the day, in the midst of the chaos, to bask in the greatness of God. 

As time has passed, I’m realizing how much harder it is to actually create a moment of silence while the day is still screaming around you. But it so important to take your moment. In fact, demand the moment, acknowledge God in that moment and enjoy every second in His presence. 

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